I started trying to write an intimate diary hand written in my pretty journal that I got as a present. I love it so much but I find it really heavy and the act of writing is hard work! I don’t know if its the lack of practise that my ageing hand gets physically tiered really quickly or the fact that my thoughts come so fast that my hand is constantly playing catch up! ( I was also told whilst having a dyslexic test that writing speed, and achynejss are related to this?! which is something to look into maybe!)
Its weird because I used to type with only two fingers which was very slow but now I can fly with the keys much better than writing!So I’ve lost one art form of capturing the word but developed another. That felt worthy of a mention. I do find that when I type I instantly imagine that I am talking to someone, so I am writing with a sense of the ‘other’ as present. The sense of improvising is slightly tweaked as I am being watched by my audience, changing my perspective of how I come across! I have been thinking of theses ideas today of being authentic. Can we truly be authentic?
The context for this question is and was this morning in the kitchen when I decided it would be a great idea to do a video recording of me dancing in the kitchen. After attempting my first recording of this which mainly involved my son Jonah interrupting me the whole time and no dance being created at all: to use time lapse instead. I thought that using time lapse would be a good idea as a way to record my daily routine in the domestic space of my kitchen. I wondered if I could make the mundane tasks magical. I wondered if I could explore different domestic objects in the kitchen and play with them as a way to generate interesting movements. This may involve Jonah my son but only if it happens naturally. So i wasn’t going to set anything up just explore and see what came organically. Argh but as soon as I pressed Record I couldn’t stop knowing that I was being watched. I did go about my daily things but in awareness. In improvisation there is an duality between being lost in the moment but with awareness, or the art of meditation to be immersed in the moment, peaceful but with awareness as a silent witness that observes rather than judges. is it possible to capture authentic moments?
So I pressed record and started dancing with a lemon! Like I would do that normally! Not authentic but very amusing to watch! I danced like no girl has danced with a lemon before! I had a great time with it. It became my friend for those few minutes as I lifted her high in the air, spun her around, sniffed her, snuggled with her under my chin. After my very zesty lemon dance I bumbled around the kitchen as I would normally as Jonah engaged himself with a torch and started to de construct it like a scientist trying to figure out how it works.
My next object I naturally came to was a muslin cloth that I had just rinsed after using it as a shift for some almond milk I just made! yah I KNOW I’m an amazing mum right, check out my milk! I really AM a milk maid! Not just my own! I never knew how beautiful a spinning wet muslin cloth could look! I know this sounds bizarre or like I have just watched the clip in American Beauty where he films a bag ‘dancing’ in the wind and gone and got inspired! The shapes that I whipped up, as I spun it around and it danced before my very eyes, changing shape. I managed to make it spin around like pizza dough. i would encourage anyone to have a go. Wet a muslin cloth ring it out so its damp and get one end and spin. Jonah joined me for this interaction and loved dodging around the cloth, weaving in-between.
After my muslin madness I moved onto a dustpan and long handled broom/brush. A song came on the radio which perfectly reflected this new partner dance I started to create. I felt like ginger rogers as I danced closely with the broom handle. I felt carefree and playful.
So why. Am I. Writing this all down?
I need someway to reflect back on this later. I wanted to share my private world and play with it a little, add some extra excitement, use it as a starting point for something else, feel alive and free in my body that often feels limited by my domestic restrictions of being a mother, having limited access to play in a studio. Why not turn my domestic environment into my studio? I find real spaces so much more inspiring to create something from. The other reason why I have written this is because the time lapse video looks SHIT! and I don’t have a recording to look back at the dances I did and felt VERY SAD once Id discovered this! I tried to console myself by saying its the process of play that is important not the product. So this is my new process/product so I have captured this for myself and anyone who may find it slightly amusing/inspiring and for those who love dancing in kitchen spaces the best x
First Attempt to capture a myself improvising in the kitchen:
Magically Mundane Moments of Motherhood
Decision to use Time lapse to record playing with objects
Time Lapse Video- Playing with domestic Objects
I am part of NDAC a collective of Dance Artist in Norfolk. We formed in January 2016 and have received Grants for The Arts funding to figure things out.
As part of this we each have been allocated a lump sum to spend of R&D.
My R and D is to help me figure out how to develop my practise as an Artist and newly unqualified mother!
I will spend it on what I need to move forward to creating further oppertunities to research into this new angle of my practise.
I have found it quite tricky to have time and mental energy to research into what I need. As a mother I am finding my time is dedicated to my little cherub! This is why I decided to create work about my relationship with him. (more on this later)
I always find when I have been given funding opportunities in the past it has been very overwhelming. It is a double edged sword of possibilities. I have this great opportunity to indulge in myself but yet on the other hand I have no time to use it AND on the third hand the opportunities are very limited for me as a breastfeeding mother with a small child.
This has become part of my research. Exploring the barriers and finding opportunities within these restrictions.
These seem to be the main challenges so far.
As a result of these discoveries and to remain open to the possibilities I have decided to host my own series of workshops/playfulness sessions.
Today I am hosting an Artist Picnic of which I am the only guest! (Even my son has opted for a nap!)
Im having a great time thank you. I genuinely mean that too. So my creativity needs time and space to breath and that is what I am doing now, with a coffee and pastry in hand! I once wrote about how to 'be' and remain in the process and creative flow. I think it is about showing up for yourself and saying I am committed to this moment. Even if you see no results/product just showing up on the page, computer or in space is enough. You are starting. You are opening yourself up to the possibilites of creativity. So here I am.......
I have several questions to ask myself:
In NOVEMBER 2016 I will be hosting a discussion as part of NDAC 'Dance-In' event.
I will be opening up a discussion based on creating work as a mother/parent. Questions which I am grappling with so far are:
Over the last few months I have been re-thinking what I am interested in and why.
I need some inspiration!
I have decided to host a series of picnic/playdates. I will be inviting mothers/parents who create/make to come and chat and play together with their children. It will involve food, chat, movement and whatever else comes up!
If you are interested in getting involved message me via facebook
arrrrhhhhhh! had a inspired singing moment today!
wow. started flowing, lyrics coming inspired by my bundle of joy!
I know ill write them down I’m flowing ,
to get some paper and stick it on the wall an write and jonah can draw too.
I’m flowing, its going. to be great, to be easy to be freeing… but wait….
wheres the paper? oh there it is…
wheres the masking tape? oh there it is…
here we go unraveling the paper is easy, now for the masking tape its stuck, its braking into unusable bits, I’m coming unstuck now, slowing down getting tiered loosing the flow….
I manage to stick the paper up on the wall and then…
Jonah grabs the end and pulls it off the wall, so i get angry and start ripping the paper so it definitely becomes a game for him too. I throw the roll of paper across the room, I’m loosing the flow, I’m trying to hold on, the moment has definitely gone now!…
I stick up the paper. now, where did i put my pens? jonah is pulling at my trousers which start to fall down.
Im tired, its over, end of creative flow, I’m going to go have more tea…
This is a necessity to my emotional well being and creative soul. I must continue to type/write down my fleeting over tired thoughts in between nappy changing and breastfeeds.
I need to feed him...............................
Daddy says booby, now Jonah wants bloody booby!......
Oh false alarm!
So welcome to my performance script, as I document my new role as a mother/ parent.
I am a year in and I think generally I'm doing quite well... Well he is still alive and happy so thats a good measure!! I am hoping that if I keep writing/typing that something good will come from it. A little kernel of creative genius amongst the interrupted rambles.
I also hope that by writing this down I shall remain rooted in creative flow.
I am constantly trying to keep a balance between my creativity and family life. Or actually trying to integrate the two so rather than seeing my creativity as a separate thing, motherhood becomes the creative thing!
Obviously the thing I REALLY wanted to say has completely escaped my brain but this will have to do!